TOOLS FOR CHANGE

How many of you have ever made a New Year resolution? I’m just going to go ahead and guess . . . every one of you. I’m also going to assume that not one of you has kept every resolution you ever made. Likely you make the same pledges over and over again.

~This year I will lose weight and get in shape.
~This Year I will get a raise or find a better paying job
~This year I will finally get organized.

We’ve all been told which road is paved with good intentions, and it’s not a place any of us want to go (I hope!). Yet the fact is every single success grows from the seed of good intentions. So why aren’t all of us, always successful? Because intention alone is not enough; to be successful you need the tools of CAN DO.

What in heaven’s name are the tools of Can Do?

Clarity
Assessment
Necessary Changes
Designed Environments
Outcomes (Or rewards)

Oh sure, your probably thinking, just another clever acronym with little substance behind it. Look! She even had to cheat on that last one to make it spell out a word. Before you click outta here, let me tell you how it works.

The first thing you need to know when making changes in or about your life is exactly what it is you want to change. Clarity means forming a precise picture OF what your success will look like, feel like, sound like – maybe even what it smells and tastes like. Believe it or not, this can often be the most difficult step of all. If you’re thinking that’s ridiculous Remember the caveat, “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” What we think we want isn’t always necessarily the case.

An almost universal New Year’s resolution is to lose weight and get in shape. I’ve uttered it more than once myself. When I started asking why I wanted to lose weight, I was quite surprised by what my answers revealed. Turns out I don’t give a hoot what the scale says, or even too much how I look. For me, it’s all about how I feel, physically and mentally. Knowing what you really want to achieve changes your motivation, your actions and maybe even the way by which you measure your success.

Next we have Assessment. To move forward successfully you should know where you’ve already been – so you don’t go back there again. Get honest with yourself about how and why you’ve failed in the past. Ask yourself what is different about your approach or commitment to change this time, and plan for the obstacles you will likely encounter.

Have you tried repeatedly to stick to a budget and failed? Maybe this time the need is more apparent or success more desirable because of what you’ll do with the savings. Was your biggest obstacle in the past impulse shopping? Formulate a definite strategy for overcoming potential failure, whether it means never buying anything the first time you see it, or leaving your checkbook and credit cards at home, taking just enough cash for what you need that day. I once promised myself that I would not purchase anything for an entire month except life’s necessities – food and shelter. When I saw something I wanted, I wrote it down. I was amazed when, at the end of the month, I reviewed my list and realized that I no longer felt the desire to buy any of the items. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t want the next thing I saw, but it taught me that my impulses filled some immediate desire but probably not a long term need.

Assessing your behaviors and beliefs carries over to making necessary changes. If your goal is to lose 20 pounds and you eat 3 donuts for breakfast every day, either you have to stop eating the donuts or start exercising – a lot. When resolving to change something in or about your life, YOU are the one who has to make the changes. Seems pretty simple when you hear it that way doesn’t it?

Maybe not. Maybe you’re thinking, “I’ve been this far before. I’ve known what I want, where I’ve been and where I’m going, and I’ve even made the changes. Somehow, I lose motivation, it gets too hard, and pretty soon I’m right back where I started.” That’s where Designing Environment comes in; supportive environments to be exact.

My preferred mode of physical activity is walking. If I can get myself going, get out the door and take those first few steps, I thoroughly enjoy every minute of it. Still, I just can’t seem to get out the door. So I found a few friends who also like to walk and whether they come to my house, or I agree to meet them, it gets me out the door.

Get creative in designing your supportive environments. Write down the perfect situation even if you think it’s never going to happen. Is your goal is to improve your appearance and dress for success? The ideal would be to hire an image consultant and a personal shopper to come clean out your closets, advise you on the best styles to wear and then go shopping with you to make sure you get it right. If that isn’t feasible, start to whittle it down to size. Is there a close friend whose style you’d admire? Ask him or her to be your closet-cleaning, wardrobe-shopping buddy.

Last we have Outcomes – but not just any outcomes; they have to be rewarding. Let’s go back to my discovery about the desire to lose weight. Since it really wasn’t about the numbers on the scale, using that scale as a measure of my success wasn’t motivating me. The numbers weren’t going down significantly and I really didn’t care (too much) when they went up – as long as I still felt good. To motivate myself, I have to stay more in tune with how I felt on a daily basis. Energized and light, or tired and weighed down? It’s probably a no-brainer but I’ll tell you anyway. The more days that I can chalk up to feeling energized and light, the more the numbers on the scale have gone down when I bother to check.

Make a list of what the rewards of your success will be. Write down everything you can think of and continue adding to the list any time you think of something new. Prioritize your list and make copies of it. Post the copies where you will see them often. Staying focused on the rewards of your success will keep your motivation strong.

The first step, knowing what you really want and this last step, knowing why you really want it may seem very much the same. They are, which is why using these tools for change keeps you moving in a vicious circle of success. Clarity, Assessment, Necessary changes, Designing supportive environments, Outcomes that are rewarding – You Can Do it!