Recently my sister said “Men want a simple life and women complicate that.” If we’re talking simple, lets go back to the primitive brain (I always love that trip). The male and female archetypes are pretty well defined. Males protected and provided, females nurtured. Could it be possible that a man instinctively puts himself and his own well being first because without his protection and provision his family will perish? Would it not follow that a woman’s primitive instinct is to ensure her own survival by doing all she can to keep her male counterpart strong and well enough to carry out his mission? And wouldn’t she also tend to her children as an investment in the future— sons to help their father and daughters to attract additional males who will protect and provide? What a radical theory!
Fast forward a couple of million years. While our environment has changed immensely, our instincts have not. Far less focused on day to day survival, we have time on our hands. That extra time gives women — complex creatures that we are — ample opportunity to complicate our simple man’s life.
The providing and protecting thing has changed in many ways, two of them significant: (1)provision and protection now come primarily in the form of a paycheck, and (2)women can earn their own. That being the case, we want in on the luxury of being nurtured and cared for. Ah, but the nature of things hasn't changed much and no matter how far equality of the sexes has advanced, men still get the lion’s share of coddling. Why? Because men only have to keep the status quo and simply go with their natural instinct to accept care. Women on the other hand, have to resist a strong, internal current that sweeps them up in caring for others.
The solution? Men need a challenge. For those primitive guys, the contest was staying alive. For our guys, one has to be more creative — but still simple. Formulas usually work well. Like capturing the king in a chess game or carrying the football to a touchdown, the challenge for men is in figuring out the best course of action and taking it.
Woman's desired outcome—half-hour massage once a week.
Price of a half-hour massage at the day spa —$60.
Significant other’s hourly wage —$20.
Significant other’s investment — deduct the equivalent of 3 hours of his wages from the family income or
Invest 1/2 hour once a week spent massaging the woman he loves.
*note the words with emotional tags --- deduct or invest?
Giving him the freedom to make his own choice — brilliant.
Giving him the freedom to make his own choice — brilliant.
As you can see, the woman in this scenario is following her nurturing instinct by providing the man with a purposeful challenge. The solution he chooses really doesn’t matter (except maybe to him). What matters is that, either way, the woman gets her massage. Repeat — either way the woman gets her massage.
Okay, maybe I’m being a little facetious here, but try to appreciate the male logic of it all. Men desire a specific outcome, they figure out the best way to obtain it and take action accordingly (notice it’s formulaic again). If you want a man to provide for your needs formulate a plan in which the outcome has an impact in his world. Try to avoid formulas that cross over into algebra or calculus. Remember, men just want life to be simple.
